To me, society sometimes acts likes the control freak boyfriend/girlfriend who decides what you should do, how you should act, and other things. This isn’t always a bad thing, actually, because running naked through the street may not be the best idea. However, it has also stifled us in many ways. Some of those ways affect our emotional health.
I was raised thinking that “it’s not attractive to be angry” and “you shouldn’t be so emotional because then people will think you’re weak.” I’m sure you’ve heard these in your life as well, in different words. However, this is dangerous to put into practice and can cause serious problems for you down the road. Thankfully, though, you can learn how to adapt and change your way of thinking. It will take time, patience, and loving yourself, but it’s possible.
I do want to mention that with just about anything else I talk about, this might not be for everyone. Most everything on this blog is not one size fits all. Also, keep in mind that I’m not a professional, and you may want to seek one and discussing your own personal situation.
You are allowed to feel angry. You’re allowed to feel whatever you are feeling at that given moment. Let that sink in for a few minutes before I continue. Whatever you may have been told in the past, you are allowed to feel. Not only that, but it’s important to feel. I was told in a therapy group that your body is just like the “service engine soon” light in your car. You can ignore it for a while, but eventually, something is going to break. The more you suppress your emotions and ignore them, the harder it will be to hold them in and one day they will explode.
Another thing I learned in my therapy group is that your emotions are like waves hitting the beach. They won’t last long, even if you feel like you’ll never be happy again. This will pass, as long as you ride the wave at that time.
Just remember that emotions do not equal actions. What you do with that emotion is extremely different than feeling it. Don’t hurt yourself or someone else. Later I’ll talk about things you can do instead.
Your feelings matter too. It’s okay to feel.