On my personal Facebook page a few years ago, I talked about how hard it to say “apology accepted.” Why is it so hard to accept someone’s apology sometimes? Or, even harder, to forgive someone who has wronged or hurt us, when they haven’t apologized?
There are many reasons why it’s hard for us to forgive others. Part of it is because we were hurt and we feel that person owes us something. Whether it was physical, mental, emotional, or verbal, when someone betrays, hurts, or takes something from us, then we naturally want that paid back, in some form or another. And sometimes, “I’m sorry“ isn’t enough, either.
This is why forgiveness is so important and can bring us happiness. When we forgive others, we are at peace with ourselves. I was told a long time ago that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Holding grudges is only going to cause you stress and eventually wear you out, while the other person most likely has no idea, and is going on their merry way.
Accepting apologies is very difficult to do sometimes. What can be even harder is forgiving someone who has never apologized. Keep in mind, however, that forgiving someone does not mean you approve of what they did. Sometimes, when someone hurts you, all you can do is let it go and walk away. Again, this doesn’t mean letting them hurt you again. You can forgive someone and still have boundaries.
So, think about the last person that hurt you. If you’re still holding a grudge, then maybe it’s time to take a deep breath, let it all release, and say “No. You don’t have a hold on me anymore. You hurt me and I do deserve an apology, but if you’re not going to give it to me, I’ll just let this go and move forward. If you’d like to move forward with me, that’s great, but if not, then that’s fine too.” You’ll be happier if you learn to let go and forgive others.